( Click here for 'Thirty Years' ONE SHOT! jack/ianto )

Hi! This is just a little mini series that just popped into my head- i just want to do lots of IMs and i haven't got a better excuse lol! Anyways, my LJ cut isn't working, so i'm sorry for that. Please READ!

SERIES: TORCHWOOD: Where Are The Aliens?

Title:  Part 1:  Owen Vs. Ianto: Jack Isn’t Boss Here, I Am.

           Part 2:   Owen Vs. Tosh: You Act As If You Actually Gave Me A Chance.

           Part 3:   Ianto Vs. Jack: When It’s Me Or Gwen, Sir.

           Part 4:  Owen Vs. Jack: I Know I’m A Genius, But I’m Also Torchwood’s Medic.

           Part 5: Ianto Vs. Jack: Suzie Costello Was Nothing On Capt. Jack.

Parts: 5

Format: IM Conversation.

Characters/ Pairings: Jack/Ianto, Tosh/Owen, implied Ianto/Owen, Gwen.

Rating: PG-13 (References to Sex, contains adult language and swearing)

Spoilers: Part 1: TW S2 ‘Meat’ and ‘Adam’.

                Part 2:  TW S2 ‘Adam’, ‘Meat’, ‘KKBB’ and bits of TW S1.

                Part 3: DW S3/S4, TW S2 ‘Meat’, ‘Adam’, ‘KKBB’, ‘Last Man’. Bits of TW S1.

                Part 4: TW S1 ‘Countrycide’, ‘TKKS’, TW S2 ‘Fragments’, ‘Adam’ and ‘Meat’ ,‘Dead Man Walking’.

                Part 5: TW S1 ‘TKKS’, ‘ End Of Days’, TW S2 ‘Fragments’, ‘Exit Wounds’, and DW S4 ‘Stolen Earth’, ‘Journey’s End’.

Disclaimer: Torchwood and characters do NOT belong to me. I torment myself everyday because it is true. They belong to RTD and TW production team, solely. I do not intend to make money out of this, nor will I.

Summary: The Life of Torchwood Through IM conversations: What would happen if Owen could remember the 48 hours from ‘Adam’? After that, it only accelerates- Tosh confronts Owen, Ianto finally takes up Jack on Gwen…When time runs out, and the team loses two of its members, what does it all mean in the end?

Authors Notes: This is one of the weirdest things I’ve written. But I want to give it a go. This acts as an IM CONVERSATION version of a gap fic series; filling in between the episodes and some AU ideas. It looks at most aspects of the relationships: Tosh/Owen as well as Jack/Ianto. I love doing IM’s and this is the most complex idea I’ve had for such a format. I hope you all like. This isn’t beta’d- I’m back on my own now.

Key:

Lover_Boy: Jack Harkness

King_Of_Weevils: Owen Harper

Coffee_Master: Ianto Jones

Lil_Miss_Nosey: Gwen Cooper

Japanese_Princess: Toshiko Sato

 Part One: Owen Vs Ianto- Jack Isn’t Boss Here, I Am.

King_Of_Weevils: Once upon a time-

Coffee_Master: Owen.

King_Of_Weevils: There lived a very handsome man, so handsome, in fact, that he became so widely known, not only for his vast superior intelligence, but for those devilishly GORGEOUS looks-

Coffee_Master: Owen!

King_Of_Weevils: He was widely revered by millions, and made tonnes of dosh, lived in a gigantic mansion-

Coffee_Master: You’d be one of those that live off the Playboy mansion.

King_Of_Weevils: What?

Coffee_Master: Never mind. Owen, can i-

King_Of_Weevils: And oh, the babes I’d have after me…No one to disturb us all day long-

Coffee_Master: Owen-

King_Of_Weevils: FAR FAR AWAY-

Coffee_Master: OWEN!!!!!!!!

[Coffee_Master sends a NUDGE to King_Of_Weevils]

King_Of_Weevils: OWWWWW! AND THEN YOU COME INTO MY LIFE!

Coffee_Master: Didn’t know I meant that much to you, Owen.

King_Of_Weevils: Ha bloody Ha! Be a love and go shag the boss, will you?

King_Of_Weevils: What is it with you? Out of all the people Jack could’ve employed, he goes to the horny tea boy who can’t handle sick leave.

Coffee_Master: That’s the point, Owen! I am NOT ill! You’re meant to be a doctor-

Coffee_Master: Oh, duw!

King_Of_Weevils: What’s up, tea boy, run out of lube?

Coffee_Master: Remind me to stock up using the medical budget. I believe lube is classed as a medical resource?

King_Of_Weevils: No it isn’t, you dullard. Just coz you shove it into a certain part of your anatomy doesn’t mean-

Coffee_Master: Shut up, Owen. If you must know, I’ve spilt the antibiotics you’re making me take.

King_Of_Weevils: Go and buy some more.

Coffee_Master: Owen!

King_Of_Weevils: Ianto, really, give up. I’ll give you more antibiotics. I’ll send Tosh with it when she comes to see you.

Coffee_Master: But that’s not what-

King_Of_Weevils: Oh, fuck off, Captain’s pet! You’re ill, you can’t work, and you need to be in bed! If you’re so bored, why don’t you ask lover boy to come over for a fuck?

King_Of_Weevils: And I don’t want your snot in my coffee.

Coffee_Master: But-

King_Of_Weevils: No clearance. I don’t know why you mind so much. If it were me, I’d be off with a shot.

King_Of_Weevils: And it’s not like you can’t still sleep with Jack. Just do it in your bed instead of MY DESK.

Coffee_Master: Owen, what’s wrong with you?

King_Of_Weevils: That’s what you to do, isn’t it? Don’t tell me you TALK-

Coffee_Master: We do talk. And that’s not what I’m saying. Since when did you care so much about what me and Jack do?

King_Of_Weevils: What makes you think I care? It’s disgusting; I don’t know why you can’t do it on a BED, like every other sane person does in this bleeding planet. I still haven’t got that sticky stuff off the leg of my desk.

Coffee_Master: Sorry. But I’m trying to…

King_Of_Weevils: And as much as I DON’T WANT TO KNOW what it is, it makes me sick wondering what the hell you did to get it THAT consistency.

Coffee_Master: Owen!

King_Of_Weevils: Yeah, you’re right. I don’t want to know. You sick fuckers, that’s what you are.

Coffee_Master: Okay! I said sorry! I’ll try Jack to get you a new desk if it makes you happy.

King_Of_Weevils: Yeah right. Then you see Jack.

Coffee_Master: Owen? Are you okay? Did you catch my bug or something?

King_Of_Weevils: If I caught anything off you, I’d be setting my grandmother on fire.

Coffee_Master: …Right. So I’m not getting clearance to come back to the hub?

King_Of_Weevils: No. Fuck off now.

Coffee_Master: Do you hate me, Owen?

King_Of_Weevils: Of course not, mate.

King_Of_Weevils: I’m looking forward to the day you bloody die.

Coffee_Master: …W-what? *alarmed*

Coffee_Master: What did I do?

King_Of_Weevils: Sorry.

King_Of_Weevils: Ignore me.

Coffee_Master: No. You’re upset with me. I want to know why.

King_Of_Weevils: Oh, you know what? I give up. I’ll email Jack your clearance. You can come back to work tomorrow. Now leave me alone.

Coffee_Master: You said you want me dead.

King_Of_Weevils: No I did not.

Coffee_Master: Owen, just look up the screen, it’s in print.

King_Of_Weevils: It was a joke, okay? Sheez, you welsh can’t take a joke.

Coffee_Master: Owen, you’ve been acting weird around me for days. And Tosh. And Jack. And Gwen. Ever since we woke up.

King_Of_Weevils: Wow, there is a God.

Coffee_Master: What? You know you can talk to me.

Coffee_Master: Funnily enough, I do do things other than ‘shag Jack’ as you put it.

King_Of_Weevils: *Miserable* then why do all of you…

Coffee_Master: Go on…

King_Of_Weevils: I remember…things…

Coffee_Master: From?

Coffee_Master: Hang on.

Coffee_Master: From the 48 hours we’re missing?

Coffee_Master: Tell me, Owen.

King_Of_Weevils: Ianto, it was so-

[Lover_Boy ENTERS conversation]

Lover_Boy: Boys!

Lover_Boy: Why, why, oh why do you always forget?

Lover_Boy: If anyone’s having sex in the office, I have to be allowed to watch.

Lover_Boy: Or read. *grins*

TBC- PART TWO ( I'm writing it right this minute, so it should be posted in another hour) Yes, im stupid. Computer crashed, work called, and i end up posting two days later. Its up now tho xD



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